Medical Trauma: A Special Guest

Medical trauma and medical PTSD are two of the most under-identified and misunderstood occurrences in today’s medical system, even in our own developed, educated country. Doctors are supposed to be trustworthy and well intentioned, they even take a vow to do no harm. From day one we are taught to put trust in doctors, nurses, and any other medical professional, trust them with our personal thoughts, habits, and of course our bodies,  our minds; hospitals and doctors offices are supposed to be “safe zones” if we need help… but is this always the case?

From my years of battling chronic illnesses I’ve seen TONS of doctors, specialists, nurses, xray techs, med students, etc. and it’s shocking how some of them treat patients. I can give you handfuls of personal experience with negligence, betrayal, false accusations and biases, and personal traumatic experiences brought on by the medical systems, doctors and nurses themselves. I’ve gotten to a point where I have anxiety over  new doctors, a true fear of admissions to the hospitals who are said to be there for treatment, help, healing. I’ve been denied medical treatments by insurance agents who don’t even have a degree in medicine or pharmacology, but choose money over my quality of life. There’s so much more to the medical system than the average person imagines, and the impact reaches far beyond the exam table.

To share another perspective, I’ve been given permission to quote the testimony of one of the kindest, most respectful and compassionate fellow “spoonies” that I have gotten to know thanks to online networks that let us find one another with just a hashtag.

So, thank you Nicole, and here we go…

“Ever since I started struggling more and more with my medical trauma and also was recently officially diagnosed with medical PTSD so I wanted to spread awareness about how traumatic this chronic life can be. From doctors treating you badly, to traumatic surgeries or procedures to doctors not believing you to life threatening situations there are unfortunately many possible traumatic parts of being sick and/or disabled and it needs to be talked about more.

Vivid nightmares. Anxiety and panic attacks. Depression. Avoidance. Flashbacks and intrusive memories. Always on guard. Easily startled. Trouble experiencing positive emotions. Loss of interest in things that you enjoy. Trouble sleeping and concentrating. Irritability. Guilt.

These are just some of the things that come along with medical trauma or PTSD.

Unlike with some other types of trauma, for us who are complex chronically ill and/or disabled patients we literally cannot avoid our trauma.  We cannot avoid hospitals, doctors, medications, treatments, surgeries, etc. This makes coping with and healing from medical trauma very very challenging. For me even little things like doing my daily line and tube care can bring on flashbacks of sepsis hospitalizations and awake, painful IR procedures and things like new patient appointments can bring on severe anxiety about possibly not being believed. This can cause us to generalize all our trauma and have anxiety and PTSD symptoms around everything medical not just the traumatic event/s. For me I get awful anxiety when I have any kind of medical appointment due to the trauma being brought back through intrusive memories, feeling unsafe and a strong urge to run/get home ASAP, agitation, impatience, feeling like I may literally explode from anxiety and panic and much more.

All trauma, no matter what it is or how severe, is real, valid, important and is deserving of healing, therapy, support, treatment etc.

Medical Trauma and medical PTSD needs more awareness so doctors, nurses, medical professionals etc can be aware that it exists, that is a huge struggle for the patients that deal with it every single day, and learn how to help it and do everything they can to try to prevent it.

We have to strive to make healthcare *Human*Care so that medical trauma and PTSD stops for good and no one else ever has to go through such a horrific condition again! Maybe if medical professionals treated us as actual HUMANS – not just another medical case – many of these traumatic situations could be avoided.”

 

Quote by Nicole P // IG @itsapotsielifeforme

 

Positively Rachel

 

Adventures of Mummy & Her Little Tubie

I’m excited to share a post written by one of our Newbie Tubie Mamas who is the mama of a little tubie and agreed to share a bit of her journey with us! This is a great opportunity to read a bit about raising a tubie from the perspective of the mother…

“There were times I’d sit and wonder how the hell we were going to get through this, how can we live like this forever not being able to feed our baby who’s starving and also failing to thrive anyway so needs every bit of milk he can get.

Our little man is now 8 months and has all of his nutrition via a feeding tube. Some days your baby’s screaming for milk and you can’t feed him because you can’t get the right aspirate – this could take us hours. It does get easier I promise!

I’m very lucky my husband is amazing with our children. He’s definitely the more practical thinker and I go into full research mode and sit and think what if. I have managed to tone down the googling – my husband made me promise I’d only google it if the doctor had spoken about it or it was in one of his reports and that really does help. Your then looking at specific information rather than a whole load of case stories of children who have completely different medical histories. I do find that being prepared helps my mental health, but only if I’m preparing for the real thing, not something from google that ends up being way far off from what’s really going on.

It also helps that he’s a very hands on Dad so I know when I’m in hospital with our youngest that the others are safe and happy at home with their Dad who also manages to keep the house going while I’m away. They spend lots of time visiting us because at the moment they’d rather be with us at the hospital but when the time comes that they don’t want to do that anymore we will be respectful of this and put other plans in place.

Our children have been amazing, they find it really tough and it’s so important to remember that this isn’t easy on them, either. They’re young, but they see the complexity, they see when we are upset, they want to know, so we tell them what’s happening but also try and keep their lives as normal as you can. We try and make sure they get to all their clubs, they have friends for tea or we get them on days out as we would have done before.

Siblings are a great gift to our tubie, but we have to make sure that each child feels loved, appreciated, and individually important to us and to everyone. Each one makes a huge difference, is an inspiration, a source of strength and light and joy.

During feeds it can be difficult to pick your baby up without messing up the pump, kinking the tubing, or making your baby uncomfortable from the feeds, and as caretakers, moms especially, all you want to do is hold that sweet baby! There are often extra steps when doing these basic, instinctual habits, and when you’re a parents, that can be extremely frustrating and disheartening. Eventually, the medical supplies falling out of all of your closets and the tasks that come with tubes and chronic illnesses become part of your daily routines, it all just becomes second nature – scary thought, right?

It’s all about finding the right mindset, but you first have to almost grieve the life you thought you were going to have with your new baby. I cried for hours that I would loose that bond by holding him to feed him; I can assure you I was worrying over nothing our bond is stronger than ever! We still get plenty of cuddle time and when he’s feeding I’ll often sit next to his cot and hold his hand, play peekaboo or tickle him. There are lots of opportunities for bonding you just have to look for them.

I woke up one day and realized this was our life and we’ve got two choices we get on with it, build our little man up and hope one day he stops aspirating or we sit and sulk about it which gets you absolutely nowhere! Life doesn’t stop for a feeding tube, feeding tubes allow life to get going again, it allows children to BE children, it is just another way to feed your little one.”

-Hayley Smith

If you have any interest in guest posting, I’m always happy to share different perspectives and pieces from fellow writers 🙂 Email me/contact me through the blog if you want to talk about it 🙂