Embrace It

Illness is not easy in any way, or for anyone. When your life is suddenly pulled out from under with little to no warning, and by something that no one, yourself included, has ever heard of nor can anyone begin to understand, boy does life change.

I got sick in high school, and thanks to some ignorant doctors, my parents were pretty sure I was going to be better in no time. I was a young female so of course the daily, crippling headaches were hormones and all the pains in my joints, nerves and ribs were simply growing pains, because as my lovely doctor said, “it’s normal for young women to be in pain.” Right. Helpful

Well when I got to 2 months of being unable to keep down most foods and was on homebound because I could hardly stand up from bed or be on my feet too long without passing out, nor could I eat or stay awake during school… I finally got admitted and got my diagnosis. Gastroparesis. What the heck is that, right? I don’t even think my doctors knew, because no one told me that it would change my life , forever.

I’ve come across so many medical professionals who have no idea what I’m talking about when I tell them about my health conditions…. EDS, POTS/Dysautonomia, Dysmotility/ GP, SIBO, migraines…. Is it so hard? Well maybe, but it shouldn’t be for doctors.

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My family was and continues to be incredible and supportive in every way they can – even if I don’t always want comfort or support for myself. My mom grew up in a family where the flu wasn’t a real risk, a fever was just to keep you flushed and warm, and complaining wasn’t an option. What’s a doctor, right? As long as you could walk and your eyes looked strong, you were good to go – dress nice to feel nice.

To the point, my mom quickly adapted and came through for me and after some rough times in the earlier years, we grew closer than ever as she became my home nurse doing anything from making and hanging my feeds and fluids, sorting my weekly meds, helping me shower when I can’t do it on my own, brushing my hair even though I’m terrible about it because it hurts… I don’t know what I’d do without Nurse Bibi.

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My dad and I have a different relationship, but it is so important to me, even if I have trouble showing it sometimes. He’s here for me no matter what, any time, any day. We go to out of town appointments and listen to fun music, joke around, etc. He helps me relax before appointments when he knows I’m anxious. He also lets me sleep or supports me when I want to do something else.

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That reminds me so much of my year round, travel swimming days when Dad and I would drive to the meets just the two of us because I was so shy and didn’t have friends on the team, but I got dad to myself and we had so much fun. Dad also taught me how to drive 🙂

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My little sister, Laura, has been majorly affected by this situation. She was looking forward to be the only one left at home while I was at school, but here I am. She graduated high school and is now in college. Pretty soon she will be ahead of me. Shes beautiful and gets more attention from boys than I ever did, even before I became the lost girl in the woods! But Laura harbors a lot more feelings and trials than she lets out. I’d do anything to take that back, but I don’t have many options. I’m sorry to put you through that, Laura. I wouldn’t wish any of this on anyone.

Mom and Dad have different love languages, and so do I, but I have to remember how much my family does for me, and I have to put aside any pet peeves that I can in order to truly show my appreciation and love. I’m not great with words right now, I don’t love physical touch, but I do well with actions and giving gifts or sending/writing out my feelings. That, however, is the opposite from others in my family. Dad loves physical touch/hugging, mom loves actions, Laura… probably actions that follow words. Don’t lie. Don’t make anything up. Don’t take credit for something you didn’t do and don’t deny something you did do. Make sense?

Life is short, right? So  embrace every day, and then really embrace the people you love. Can you make a sacrifice or step out of you comfort zone for a 15 second hug? Or a dollar store gift? It’s the thought and the effort that count, most of the time 😉 Family, by blood or by love and loyalty, are the ones you end up needing. It’s never too late to start appreciating people more and treating them as such.

Chronic illness can affect more than just the patient, when you have caretakers and live at home with family members, parents, or your spouse, they all suffer and worry and work so hard throughout the journey. So when you think about the patient and regularly check in or want to be of help, I can tell you that the caretakers (For me, my parents and my little sister) need just as much TLC as I do. It’s also so important for me, the patient, to take time to appreciate each of those people in my life, make sacrifices for them as they do for me, and treat them in the best way I can, even when I’m feeling terrible. This isn’t a battle anyone should fight alone.

 

Love and be loved, go out of your way to support and care for those in need, it’s the best thing you can do for yourself as well as for others.

 

Father’s Day

People always say that everyone knows each other in a small town; well I grew up in a small town where my dad was the principal at the local elementary school, so in my experience, that statement in pretty accurate. For as long as I can remember I’ve had strangers coming up to me in stores, schools, restaurants, and on the sidewalks just to tell me how amazing my dad is or reminiscing about their times with him.

My dad isn’t just known around town though, he is known throughout the county as the best administrator and an all around great guy. When he left one elementary school and moved to the next, teachers from the first applied for jobs at the new school to try to stay with him. When he left the last school and started working in Central Office, teachers and parents were devastated; it’s been a year and I still have people telling me how much they miss him and all he did for that school.

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Dad did a fundraiser and got taped to a wall! Did I mention he has a great sense of humor? 🙂

My dad is known to be incredibly smart and empathetic; his co-workers used to tell me all the time that they loved him so much because he cared about everyone. He will always listen and he will always do his best to help someone if he can; he’s about doing what’s right and what’s going to help people. He always wanted to help the children, the parents, and the teachers and their families. I could tell so many stories, but watching him work and do all he did for his students made me so proud to be his daughter.

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One of our favorite places! And of course, laura photo bombs!

 

Dad loves his job, and he has always been incredibly passionate about it, but if there’s one thing he is even better at, it’s being a dad. (sappy, right?) Dad was blessed with three daughters—we like to joke about how surrounded he is with females all the time 🙂 If you have daughters, you know we can be a… challenge. We can be stubborn, have attitudes, have boy problems, give killer silent treatments, hold grudges, be a little emotional, and pout like crazy. But we also love hard, show gratitude, laugh a lot, give great hugs, aren’t afraid to express emotion, love family time, and so much more. I think my dad would tell you we are worth the hard work.

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I’ve looked up to my dad for as long as I can remember. He used to tuck me into bed and say my prayers with me every night. We had “special time” with Dad when we were little where he would take us girls out without mom and we would get pretzels at the mall or see a movie and he would buy us presents. I was SO excited when I found out he would be my principal in 3rd grade, even though it meant we had to move to a new town. We shared a love for oreo ice cream. He took me to all of my swim practices and out of town meets. My dad taught me how to drive, I went to the same college he did (hopefully I’ll go back!). Now he drives me to the doctor all the time, spends countless hours talking to doctors, nurses, insurance agents, and pharmacists on the phone, and is by my side no matter what.

Life is unpredictable and it’s thrown a ton of curve balls at us, but my dad is always around to help figure it out.

I love you Dad, Happy Father’s Day!